In my head

I always feel like a deer caught in the lights when I start to frequent a place so often. Whether that be the workplace, or a gym, or a dance class. You start seeing the same faces week after week and although you are not family or friends, or even acquaintances in some instances, these are people that you are spending a certain amount of time with on a regular basis. And sometimes, I just don’t know how to act in those situations. I become a regular and I see other regulars and instead of saying hi or becoming friendly with them, I do nothing. I suppose I don’t really know how to approach them. I appreciate them being there, and sometimes I miss them when they cannot make it that week, but it does not pass past there. And for some people maybe that would be enough and they would not be weirded out by it but for me, it bothers me somehow. Shouldn’t I say something to acknowledge their everyday presence? Shouldn’t I be acknowledged too? Sometimes I wonder, who taught you to fear people? It must have been a string of occurrences in life but that happened in the past but these are not the same people. And one could always rewrite their present life, if one really wanted to. Have you ever felt this way before?

Photo by Pegah on

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