From Now On

I will just tell myself that He is Just Not that Into You whenever I start falling for a person who may or may not even like me back. Like the guy I see on a daily basis, the one I’ve had a massive crush on since the first time I saw him. Instead of thinking of all the million reasons why he must not like me or why he would be better compatible with someone else, I will just tell myself he is just not that into me. I do not need to make it about somebody else, put myself down thinking of all the other people he could fall in love with that are not me. I could just say that he is just not that into me. Despite the little clues and signs that I’ve gathered from him these past few months, I should no longer read into them at all. I know he is aware of me- we’ve locked eyes many times, but since he isn’t exactly reaching out to me or making any sort of contact with me… then I just have to assume that he isn’t interested and I need to move on with my life. And not make it about him, but instead, about me. By the way, can you tell I just finished watching the movie He is Just Not That Into You? Because I have and it reminded me of some things that I knew about before but needed to hear just a little bit louder at this point in my life. Because if he wanted to, he could. And since he hasn’t, he doesn’t and although it might be a bitter pill to swallow, its one that desperately needs to be taken.

I wonder when I will get over this crush. It’s kind of massive and I probably shouldn’t have such a massive crush on someone who I have never spoken to before. But this crush kept me sane at times and, let’s be honest, these kinds of crushes do happen. Though, sometimes, having a crush can definitely be disappointing. Especially when you may not even be in the right mindset to date, when your life might not even be ready for such an occurrence. Despite how this other person may or may not feel towards you, having a crush on someone can reveal something about yourself. Right now its telling me that I am still capable of feeling these emotions after past failed relationships. So for now, this crush is a sign of hope, that I can still feel romantic feelings for someone else and that I am not completely closed to the idea of being in a relationship with someone in the future. It shows that it is still something I’d like, despite past thoughts. And I just have to ride it out until it is no longer in my system. What has a crush revealed about yourself?

Photo by Andre Furtado on

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