Not a Lot

of people talk about what it feels like to be the friend who does not have a baby when your best fried decides to have one. How lonely you feel when your friend has a baby, not because you want a baby yourself, but because now, things between you and your friend have changed. You can no longer spend a long time on the phone with her catching up, or spend a whole day doing anything and everything around town with her. Your friend now spends 24/7 caring for a small life. Her love, her attention, her energy, is devoted to someone else. Her whole life now revolves around the little human who depends on her, and she is consumed by motherhood. And I miss how we used to be. I miss the her that she used to be when we were in college. And although our friendship is no longer the same, not just because of the baby, but because of time and distance and change since our college days, I am so proud of who she has become. I know motherhood is not easy and that a person life’s changes significantly once they decide to have a baby. I also know that she tries her very best, to become the best mother she can be. And, lastly, I know her life is richer for it, and for that I am happy for her. Though there are times when I think of us, of our friendship, and the times when sometimes, we needed the closeness of that relationship too.

Photo by cottonbro on

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