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The other day I saw a TikTok that addressed the ways we self destruct. The guy in the video was saying that he self destructs by saying negative things to himself. This was specifically destructive for him because his love language was words of affirmation. In the comment section, people were making their own connections. For example, for someone whose love language was acts of service, their destructive act was procrastinating.

I wondered too, if I engaged in self destructing ways and realized I did. I thought about a pattern that I’ve observed in myself since I was younger and it is of isolation. I isolate myself from the people around me, putting up barriers even before meeting people. This is destructive because I am not allowing myself to be around people, which hurts me. In a way it is almost like punishing myself, because my primary love language is Quality Time. If I am shying away from people and removing myself from receiving love from others, then I am really doing a huge disservice to myself, aren’t I? I am essentially depriving myself of human connection, which on its own is already not good for anyone, but for someone who gives and receives love by spending time with others, well it’s kind of a big deal. 

I am not quite sure what to do with this new information. I would have never made that connection had I not seen this video. I love it when things like these happen, when you are forced to do a little bit of soul searching at random, and that helps you learn a little bit more about yourself. But as to the topic at hand, it is a bit more difficult to undo the ways that you’ve operated for so many years. At least it is now on my radar, and I can try to be a bit more open when making new connections. What is something you’ve seen on social media that has helped you understand yourself a little better?

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